Where does your napkin go when you leave the table? Should you sniff the wine cork? Is aged beef a good thing? In a swank restaurant, questions like these can plague the average diner. It’s a common condition — this unshakable fear that you will be cowed into ordering an overpriced bottle of wine or unknowingly commit some fine-dining crime, whether it’s using the wrong fork, mispronouncing foie gras, or gasping when your fish entrée shows up with its head still attached. Of course we know the basics, but the hype of the fine dining experience often breeds needless anxiety about how to act sophisticated and savvy in such posh surroundings.

More than a simple etiquette guide, this book was born of my own formidable shortcomings in fine dining — moments when confusion and doubt steered me into questionable bottles of wine, scared me away from delicacies like sweetbreads (which aren’t sweet or bread) and provoked unnecessary worry about contemptuous waiters and smug sommeliers. And I know I’m not alone.

Whether you’ve fumbled through one too many formal business or social dinners or you simply want to explore the world of luxury cuisine, The Mere Mortal’s Guide to Fine Dining will ease your suffering and feed your curiosity. Everything you need to feel comfortable and knowledgeable in the realm of fine dining is here: Nitty-gritty details, like the difference between a porterhouse and a T-bone, where your bread plate is, and how to send back a funky bottle of wine. Practical stuff about ordering and understanding wine that will make people think you know more than you do. Simple how-to and what-for guides on everything from who’s who on a restaurant staff and the art of eating sushi to ordering a great bottle of wine and pronouncing classic French dishes. You’ll even get a little history on table manners and insider tips from the nation’s top restaurants.

This is no pinkies-up, prissy handbook of good manners. It is your practical guide to enjoying, indulging and feeling utterly competent in any fancy-pants restaurant, from the amuse bouche to dessert. Bon appetit!